salam mehrabonam.salam omide zendegim.salam eshghe man.
to zibatarin tabir az eshghe vaghei hasti..lahazati ke bahat hastam be andazei ghashango romantike ke delam mikhad har lahzasho hezaran bar tajrobe konam... faramosh nakon ke shadiye to shadiye man va ghoseye to ghoseye mane....man jesme baarzesheto ba tamame vojodam hes mikonam...vaghti ke harf mizani, labat sabad sabad gole omid nesare roham mikone... vaghti behet negah mikonam, jelvehaye malekotiye cheshmat mano ta binahayat mibare chon asemone cheshmat por az taravate..pishkeshe negahet ghalbe mane va menate cheshmat omre mane...to khoshbotarin gole hasti va khoshahangtarin taraneye giti hasti...dastaye man teshneye dastate va shonehat tekyegahe khastegiham... ba vojode to zemestonitarin lahzeha ham bahare... hichkas az vafa va mehraboni be paye to nemirese. too zendegim tahala hichkas be andaze to natoneste zehnamo dargir kone,aslan tahala hichkas mesle to nadidam. to kheli ba baghie dokhtara fargh dari. vaghan nemidonam khodaro chejori shokr konam ke toro behem hedye dade. bavar mikoni az sobh ta shab beto fekr mikonam? sedaye khandehaye nazet hamishe too gooshame, vaghti az tahe delet mikhandi nemidoni cheghadr zogh mikonamo ghand to delam ab mishe. vaghti esmamo seda mizani... vaghan nemidonam chi begam... be to mohtajam ta abad. to maboode mani.. ba khialet daram joon migiram va ba khodet be kamal miresam. to vaghan binaziri. man cheghadr khoshbakhtam ke toro daram. kheli dooset daaraam golam. ghadre hame mohabatat ro midonam. to bekhatere man jangidi va in vase man kheli mani va mafhoom dare. motmaen bash baghie omr, man bekhateret mijangam. to az hame lahaz az baghie sari. midoni fariba, ino daram jedi migam, man mani va mafhoome mohabat va eshgh ro bato yad gereftam. to darsi behem dadi ke masire zendegimo avaz kard. man be mojeze hichvaght eteghad nadashtam, vali inke mehre man be delet oftad vaghan ye mojeze bood va man vaghan az khodam khosham omad, midoni chera? chon be moghe eshgheto dark kardam. shayad age ghablan shekaste eshghi nakhorde boodam aslan eshgheto nemifahmidam. man tooye cheshmat chizi didam ke delamo ashoob mikard. khoob shod ke eshgheto fahmidam va nazashtam be terme akhar berese. chon age terme akhar miomadi va ino behem migofti ye donya hasrat mikhordam.bazi vaghti ba khodam ke fekr mikonam migam cheghadr khobe ke man adame kamrooi nistam, chon age kamroo bodam hichvaght jorate inke biam tarafet ro peyda nemikardam, va to ham kheli khoob baham barkhord mikardi va be hame harfam goosh midadi,ba in karet aramesh ro aroom aroom behem tazrigh mikardi, vali cheghadr khoob shod ke intori shod! gheire ghabele pishbini vali dar eine hal shirin! ye etefagh ke harvaght behesh fekr mikonam aslan bavaram nemishe on dokhtari ke on rooz omad va baraye anjoman behem ray dad beshe hamsaram, benazaret royai va ideal nist? dorost mesle ghesehaye asheghone mimone, vali ye fargh ba dastanha dare. to dastanhaye asheghoone age deghat karde bashi dokhtar pesara bishtare vaghta beham nemiresan va baghie zendegishono ba hasrat separi mikonan, vali dastane ma khatm be kheir shod va 2ta parastooye asheghbeham residan. Fariba shayad bavaret nashe, vali man eshghe vaghei ro faghat to cheshmaye to didam. bazi vaghta vaghean dar moghabele mohabatat va ehsasate paket kam miaram va nemidonam chi bayad begam, faghat haminghadr midonam ke to bishtar az on chizi ke fekresho mikardam khoobi. to tanha ensani hasti ke man ba didanesh, be ensan boodane khodam eftekhar mikonam, ino jedi goftam chon ye tare mooye to az hezaran almas va tala ham vasam bishtar arzesh dare. hamishe khial mikardam emkan nadare kasi peyda beshe ke betone mano asire khodesh kone. ama ghodrate cheshmat behem neshon dad ke man hichi nistam, neshon dad ke hanoz eshghe vaghei dar donya peyda mishe. kheli dooset daaraam... ba tamame vojodam hazeram vasat bemiram, mifahmi? man iman daram ke to az hame nazar az man sar hasti, ham az nazare zibai, ham az nazare hoosh va estedad, az hame nazar man shans avordam ke tonestam toro bedast biaram. to bozorgtarin movafaghiate zendegie man hasti, ino jedi goftam. vasat hame kar mikonam. shayad alan ghodrate anjame kheli az kara ro nadashte basham, vali ghole sharaf midam hame zendegimo be pat berizam ta betonam yekam az mohabatat va fadakariato jobran konam. man midonam ke bazi vaghta az bazi kara va harfaye man delkhor mishi, midonam bazi vaghta bazi kara ro nabayad anjam bedam, ama ghol midam dige tekrar nakonam. dar moghabel to ham bayad ghol bedi ke hamishe doosam dashte bashi chon man to zendegim ba arzeshtarin chizi ke daram hamin ehsase dooost dashtane to hast ke mojeb mishe ehsase khoshbakhti va ghoroor konam. to tamame zendegimi, man behtarin lahazate zendegimo ba to gozarondam va nemidoni ka hata in fekr ke to male man shodi cheghadr behem ehsase aramesh mide. Fariba vaghean mamnonam azat bekhatere inke az avale rabetamon behem etemad kardi, mamnon ke behem vafadar moondi, mamnon ke behem eshgh ro neshon dadi, mamnon ke vojode nazanineto behem hedye dadi va mamnon bekhatere hezaran kari ke bekhateram anjam dadi. mamnon ke be baghie khastegarat ro bekhatere man rad kardi, mamnon ke hamishe azam hemayat kardi, man hamishe karai ke anjam dadi to zehnam mimone, hata ghazahai ke vasam pokhti, soghatihai ke az mashhad vasam avordi,va on dafteri ke tabeston ehsasate ghashangeto toosh neveshti, hamash to zehnam mimone, bekhatere hame chiz azat mamnonam,man in donya ro faghat bekhatere boodan ba to mikham. to zibatarin bahane baraye zendegi hasti. dashtanet baram eftekhare. ta akhare omram madyonetam Fariba.
Fariba kheli dooset daram. ye mooye gandide toro ba hame donya avaz nemikonam. to behtarini. to ye mafhoome zibaaz doost dashtani. be hormate cheshmat ghasam mikhoram ke ta ghiamat eshghet to ghalbam mimone. khake pat ro sormecheshmam mikonam va ta nafas mikesham dar moghabelet zanoo mizanam,boose bar pahat mizanam va ebadatet mikonam, ari,man dobare be din iman avardam, ama in bar yekam fargh mikonad: dine man asheghist va khodayam to hasti, va tanha barpahaye to sajde mikonam va gheble man an jai ast ke to dar anja bashi. ari, dine man asheghist....
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